The internet is a weird place and I don’t really understand it.  I’ve said this before.  There is a need to reduce information into a small graphic or slogan.  There are a lot of these thrown around constantly on various websites and social media platforms.  The simpler the slogan, the better.  The funnier the picture it is placed over, the better.  These slogans usually involve politics or motivation.

Many of these make no sense to me.

Some are missing a sentence:

“If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.”
…….if you’re a gullible idiot.

Some are nonsensical and illogical:

“Excuses are like assholes, everyone’s got one and they all stink.”

Well, yes.  Everyone does, in fact, have an asshole. It serves a distinct biological function.  What does this mean for the excuse-less?  Those of us who go about our business on a day to day basis and expect nothing from anyone? Are we all bloated and full of shit?

A better slogan would be: “Excuses are like appendixes.  Everyone has one and they are a useless remnant from the past.”

There’s been a recent innovation in the field of excuse destruction.  A simple way to fix all of life’s inconvenient and sometimes arduous labors and duties.

The Life Hack.

Life Hacking provides simple solutions to difficult problems and situations.

Fingers getting too covered in Cheetos dust?  No, no, don’t stop eating the puffed “corn” concoction.  By all means, continue stuffing your face with this chemically loaded food like substance.  Simply use chopsticks as opposed to your fingers.  You can now eat as many as you’d like without looking like you’ve been too intimate with the Syracuse mascot.

Life Hacks are a total misnomer.  There are many definitions for the word “hack” but they are using it as it regards to computers and technology.  “To use a computer to gain unauthorized access to data in a system”.  Not “to cut with rough or heavy blows”, albeit that would make the term much more interesting for me.  And doctors.

The Life Hack makes no sense in these terms.  There is no unauthorized access given, they are just excuses and simple fixes.  They are more like changing your desktop background than hacking a system.

I think these prevalent “Life Hacks” are simply a way around life’s problems.  Instead of confronting the Cheeto Dust problem with a mature and rational attitude the Life Hacker thinks “How can I get around this problem without attempting to solve it? And how can I do this in the simplest way possible?”

The real way to hack your life would be to change your habits. Put the damned Cheetos down.  Chester won’t be too upset. Life Hacks as they stand do not address the bigger issue: bad habits.

Most of our excuses in life are in response to bad habits we have developed.  Whether they be dietary, fitness related or idleness.  We often need to rationalize our behavior.  “It’s ok that I eat this cake, because I ran a mile today.”  Thoughts like that.

A habit is simply a behavior done multiple times.  I prefer to think of bad habits as destructive behavior.  Any behavior that is metaphorically moving you backwards instead of forwards is destructive.

There is a book that goes into great detail on this called “The Power of Habit”, it is a good read for the first 5 or 6 chapters but becomes too anecdotal to be a great resource.  The author, Charles Duhigg, outlines what habits are.  They are reward based behaviors.  The first few times we behave a certain way we see a reward.  “These Cheetos taste good, so they make me feel good.”  We continue this behavior to continue to seek the same reward, even though the reward diminishes each time we perform this behavior.  Thus a habit is born.

I am a firm believe that small changes occurring over time eventually become large changes.  While losing weight, one pound lost a week equals 50 some pounds a year.  When looking to change bad habits, it’s important that we start small.  Make a small change today to that bad habit that’s been nagging you for years.  Doing something small is infinitely better than doing nothing.

Make a small change today, write it down.  Keep it up, develop a habit.  Check back in 3 months.  I bet you’ll be firmly on the path to destroying that son of a bitch.